Into the Abbiss Trunks

Size
Into the Abbiss Trunks 
How to make a splash!
     Search MySpace for the most happening pool party in your immediate area. Crash it!  Show up with your 'Into the Abbiss' retro swim trunks and an empty piñata. This is your ticket passed any security detail, no matter how tight.  Once in, make note of the food situation and locate the bar. Next, stake out your real estate.  You'll want the best poolside spot with plenty of sunshine.  Bring your David Hasselhoff beach towel.  In the event that your spot is taken, simply throw the double guns, whip your towel from around your waist exposing your 'Into the Abbiss' nostalgic swim trunks, cock your chin and say, 'Names Bronze, LeBronze James'.  If your spot is fit for a king, this should open it right up.  Once you have your chaise lounge secured, oil up those buns baby!  Lather it on and show off your leBronze.  Cook for 30-45 minutes or until someone approaches you and asks whom you received your invite from.  Tell them your Jack's cousin in from Jersey City.  At this point you'll want to offer the piñata.   Tell them it's stuffed with shooters! They'll be stoked that you didn't come empty handed.  While the hosts are busy trying to hang the piñata, you'll want to sneak in your swim.  The diving board is obviously the best way to make a splash!  The trick is up to you.  We suggest the classic cannon ball, nothing Hokie like a pencil dive nose plug.  Now that you're in the pool enjoying your super dope bathing-suit, keep a close eye on the piñata, you'll have about 10 minutes until people start taking whacks at it.  During this time, grab a floaty and enjoy your pool session, this is what you came to do!  When the piñata is ready, you'll surely be offered the first whack. Whilst in the pool, kindly insist that someone else go first.  At this point you'll want to end your swim.  Head for the food and bar.  You've got about 10 whacks left.  Help yourself to a bottle or two of the most expensive booze present and grab one of the pizzas.  Casually walk towards the exit.  You should be about three quarters the way towards the exit when the piñata rips open and nothing comes out.  Once you reach the gate, you'll have been exposed as the classless party crashing jabronie that you are. Enjoy a seamless escape! No slippage thanks to the fast drying retro swim trunks you're sporting. Leave the Hasselhof towel behind, you've got a linen closest full of them.  
Let's talk exchanges and refunds!  Hygiene is important.  Good hygiene is even better!  Swimwear is designed to snuggle up right on the flesh, which means your private bits and crevices have probably been all up in that swimsuit.  Would you want to buy a garment that's been all up another persons areas? Probably not. Due to this notion, we cannot accept returns or exchanges on any swimwear that has been removed from its shrink wrapped packaging.  Sorry, but somebody has to look out for the germaphobes.  Please read the size chart carefully. 
Care instructions: 
Machine wash cold. 
Do not bleach. 
Always hang dry. 
Subscribe

Hurry up!